I am guided by love.
By a desire to do good in this world.
To help others be good.
To trust in myself.
And bring joy and happiness.
When I graduated university, I went backpacking across Europe. I felt like I was on a quest to discover how to be a good person. I didn’t feel like a good person, for no reason in particular, but it ate at me and I could never feel settled.
My beautiful ex, who travelled through Europe with me, trusted in my goodness. She did everything she could to make me believe what she could see. We spent time in churches, temples, nature, and talking about how to be good people. How we can infuse ourselves and the world around us with love.
When Christmas rolled around in our little rented chalet in Austria, she’d gotten me three gifts that really connected to this concept.
A pendant of St. Francis of Assisi, from Assisi, Italy, who is the Patron Saint of Animals and the Environment. A religious figure who, though I’m not religious, I’ve always felt connected to with every fibre of my being. Having been to Assisi twice, and still feeling a deep calling to the small village, she knew how much this symbol meant to me. She knew my love of animals and the environment made me a good person. She knew this side that was full of love.
The book, How to Be Good by Nick Hornby. This gift, though tongue-in-cheek, showed how much she loved me and this quest for goodness. The book itself was mediocre at best (sorry to any Hornby fans reading) but the concept lit the fire in my heart.
Finally, she presented me with a beautiful handmade journal from a little bookmaker in Florence. On the first pages, she’d written out 365 reasons why she loved me. Did I cry? Of course, I cried. Reading these reminders of how much someone cared about me confirmed something within my soul.
I didn’t have to go on a quest to be a good person. I already was a good person. I’m capable of love and goodness.
I am literally made of love.
Earlier this year, I delved into the numerology of my name.
Amanda = 7
Catherine = 11
Sloan = 7
My name is a palindrome.
Amanda means Fit to be Loved, loving, lovable, worthy of love.
Catherine means Pure, the Far-Reaching One, Innocent (heh), dear.
Sloan means Warrior. Raider.
Numerologically, 7s are mystical, wise, eccentric, intuitive, imaginative, philosophical, and solitary.
11s are heightened 2s. 11s are inspirational, highly intuitive, spiritual teachers, extremely bright, uplifting, truth-seekers.
I am a Warrior of Love and Clarity.
By delving into this aspect of guidance, I felt like some huge kind of clarity settled over me.
My mission on this planet is to spread love, kindness, and compassion. I need to embrace purity, clarity, and divine seeking.
This moment defined the rest of this year for me.
Of course, I googled the phrase, Love Warrior, to see if anyone had coined it before. Lo and behold, the insurmountable Glennon Doyle has a book entitled, Love Warrior, that quickly made its way onto my Amazon Wishlist.
Last year, I invested in a full birth chart reading from my friend, Taylor Lane. Within this reading, I was curious what my chart said and how I’ve been, and will be, guided throughout this life of love.
Something huge from this reading (okay there was a lot huge) is how Aries dominant I am. With Aries in my Sun sign at 28°, my North Node at 29°, and dominating my 5th House, Taylor literally said these words:
Your soul’s calling is to get uncomfortable with love.
Wow, my soul lit on fire. She was right! I am here to live a life of love. I’ve intuitively known this for years and for it to show up so strongly in my birth chart was the confirmation my brain needed.
My soul is here to give and receive love.
Love is illuminated in my life. Love is how I communicate. I am love and love is me. My purpose in this lifecycle is to illuminate the full and complete abundance of where I shine my love.
I told Taylor about my journaling earlier that year and how I titled myself a Love Warrior. We had a laugh at this moment of clarity that illuminated how my old soul is here to help make this world a beautiful, loving place in some way or another.
Love is always the answer.
After I finished the call with Taylor, I opened my email. I almost find this hard to believe, but this is love’s honest truth, my friends.
I had an email from Amazon saying that one of my friends, Caroline, had gifted me a copy of a book. I’ll give you one guess what it was:
Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle.
I can’t make this up. This act shook me to my core. The Universe was sending me yet another message that this was my truth, using my dear friend as its messenger.
I am capable of tremendous amounts of love. Love is my guiding light. Love is my reason for breathing, for getting up in the morning, and each action I take throughout the day.
My heart is quite literally swelling in my chest, I can feel it pump just that little bit harder. A sense of purpose and tranquillity has settled right over me, now, in this moment, as I finally step into this truth I’ve been seeking for years.
I didn’t need to seek my truth. My truth has always been right here with me. In my heart. In my love. And I am unstoppable.
I want to leave you with a beautiful passage from Love Warrior, one that stilled me when I read it, leaving a deep sense of knowing within me.
I know my name now. Love Warrior. I came from Love and I am Love and I will return to Love. Love casts out fear. A woman who has recovered her true identity as a Love Warrior is the most powerful force on earth. All the darkness and shame and pain in the world can’t defeat her.