Quest for Passion

by | Oct 20, 2021 | Soul | 0 comments

I wrote this in 2017 just before I started working online. Publishing it here for some posterity purposes — and maybe it will help someone else!

Passion.

What is passion? And how do you determine what yours is? I’m 31 years old and I don’t know what my passion is anymore. How did that happen? I remember I used to be passionate about a lot of things. Sure, they changed over the years, but I always had something to direct a tonne of my energy towards.

Let’s recap.

In high school, back when I lived in Canada, I loved to learn. I worked hard and I got excellent grades. And while I was in high school, I was also in sea cadets, where I spent 5-7 nights a week having incredible adventures with them. I was always busy and I was always happy.

In university, I was always crazy busy. I studied, worked on campus in a job that I actually loved, joined the campus gay club, and then joined a Toronto based marching band. I was busy, and I loved every gosh darn second of it! I thrived on the routine, the structure, the time commitments.

While I was at university, my passion changed to moving to Scotland. It was all that I wanted, so I did it. Though I realised that it wasn’t where I was meant to be, I learned a lot about myself and that I loved to travel.

When I returned back to Canada, although I was probably the happiest I’ve ever been, there wasn’t anything I was overly passionate about anymore. That was 10 years ago and I haven’t found that thing that makes my heart burst since. Sure, I’ve tried plenty: I have been backpacking, moved to Northern Ireland, bought a house, joined (and since left) the sea cadets, travelled through Southeast Asia, opened a business, failed at the business, and have had a plethora of other jobs in between all this.

I’m finding myself a bit directionless, and it’s time that changed. When my boyfriend, Thom, asked me the other day what I was passionate about, I just looked at him.

I like to crochet, I like coffee, I like to cook, I like to game, I like to write, I like to travel. Now it’s just finding how to make all these likes into a love and a passion and a dream.

Will you join me on this quest? Is there something you want to focus on? Let’s do this together!

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I’m Amanda…

Writer of tarot, divination, Reiki, geek culture, food, feminism, holistic health, and wellness.
Lover of cats, tacos, 90s music, and forests.

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